This Mother's Guide to Homeschooling

A lot of parents new to homeschooling have appeared in my life, some of them asking for some advice on "how I do it?" I have the benefit of being second-generation and also having worked in a college where 95%+ of students had been homeschooled for all or part of their education. And yet, I have to figure it out myself, and sometimes I need a little reminding of the truths I know. This is by no means comprehensive. But as I start the school year anew, here are a few things I've learned a long the way.

1) Yes, it does matter what you do. I've heard a lot of people say about parenting that it doesn't really matter how you do it, it all works out. I know some have this philosophy about homeschooling too. It is wrong. Clearly, it does matter how we parent, and it does matter how you educate your children. But that is different than saying there is ONE way. There are good ways, better ways, and wrong ways. And the task for you is to find out how your child best learns, how to motivate them, and what is important for them to learn. If you take this seriously, your kids will probably have different curricula, and different work loads, and they will definitely have different extracurricular subjects.

2) Scheduling is important but the schedule serves you. Try something and then readjust. Scheduling will just help your expectations and help your child see the end. Not only is scheduling helpful, it will help ease the adjustment to other schooling or adult life your child will eventually face.

3) The goal is teach them to love to learn. We should all be lifelong learners. And it is a lot more fun if you learned to love learning. Starting little ones too early or pushing them too hard will wreak havoc on your end goal. I am a strong proponent of letting them run outside on sunny days and play Legos for awhile when they want to break. As they get older, they will develop more stamina and hopefully, interest.

4) Don't forget who you are. This comes from having watched the previous generation of homeschooling moms and reading studies that confirm that identity is a huge issue. If you give 100% to homeschooling and parenting you will be a little lost when it all ends abruptly and you have no friends, no hobbies, no vocation for the next stage of life. Keep a part-time job, or keep up your hobbies and Don't Neglect your Friends! And this isn't just for you. Your children will learn as you demonstrate life balance and you will be less annoying when they are trying to leave the nest.

5) This is a job for both parents! Yes, one parent will be primary. But there are days when you can't get a concept across or you are worn out of dealing with a particular child. In my home, the Dad is on standby to back me up. If a child has struggled or if one of them needs to show their dad what they have learned whether for additional help or needed praise, he takes time with them after work. My own dad taught me anatomy since he had a degree in nursing and an interest in it.

6) Don't lose sight of the beauty that your school isn't like a regular school. Your school doesn't have to start at 8:30am and it doesn't have to end at 3:30pm. The socks don't have to match, shoes are not required, and you can interrupt school to work with two siblings fighting or a child who has neglected their chores. You can go on vacation in September (when it is cheaper) and you can make your own holidays (we have State Think Tank Days coming up in late September when their dad and I have to be away for work). The important thing is that education is happening.

7) Don't get too busy. There are so many opportunities that exist now for homeschoolers that didn't exist when I was being homeschooled. The co-op classes, sports, and other activities I had to choose from this year were mind-boggling. They all sound wonderful. But it is all too much. Free time, time to be creative and unscheduled times are important for kids. Pick and choose wisely.

One of the benefits of being second-generation is that I've witnessed success. I've watched imperfect parents and imperfect educators work with normal kids and yet achieve amazing results. I have seen some parents I was pretty sure weren't "qualified" to homeschool send their kids off to college on scholarships, fully capable of doing well and succeeding educationallly and vocationally.

I just saw a new dentist in our town who told me he was homeschooled growing up. I know lawyers, doctors, government and business leaders, and people with Ivy League degrees who were homeschooled by ordinary parents and yet achieved extraordinary things.

So, when you have one of those days (and We ALL have them) and you don't think you are cut out for this job, take a step back. And see how tomorrow goes.