Favorite Advent Character

The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.”-Luke 1:19-20

If I could be anyone in the Christmas story, it would be Gabriel. Mary? Oh, I love her, but wouldn't want to be her. Not that tough. Not that humble. My tear ducts couldn't handle the job. And a trip on a donkey at 9 months pregnant? No, thank you. Delivering in a stable? Yeah, definitely happy to give her that honor.

But Gabriel! He made some stunning announcements, got to take some shocking, crazy news to people. I love delivering news!

And I love the idea of being able to say, "Didn't believe my Boss??? Quiet time. For 9 months, dude." I would so love to issue that proclamation to a number of people this Christmas.

So I need to work on a few things. I want to be able to say with Mary: “I am the Lord’s servant.... May your word to me be fulfilled” (Luke 1:38). Give me misunderstanding, persecution, hardship, pain. I want to be part of His plan. However, you choose. 

But I would also to love to tell someone God was striking them dumb. Just saying.

A Visited Planet

"...[B]ehind all our fun and games at Christmastime, we should not try to escape a sense of awe, almost a sense of fright, at what God has done. We must never allow anything to blind us to the true significance of what happened at Bethlehem....Nothing can alter the fact that we live on a visited planet."   -J.B. Phillips

  
I am a little kid when it comes to snow. It was in the forecast yesterday and never showed up and I was vastly disappointed. My reasons have changed over the years; I'm definitely less interested in being out in it but I still love to see it falling and love it to come when I'm prepared to stay home. But when it changes my plans...when I have to go out, well, then, it does give me pause.

To hear and read various thoughts on snow is not all that different than people's emotions about Advent (the second one, but also the first). There is excitement and longing and also, the other side: dread, fear, even terror.

Snow changes life for a short time. It changes the landscape, our priorities, and the risk.

Advent should change our perspective in the same way. It should reshape priorities, change the path we are on, and make us aware of the stakes.

This is a season for turning our attention to what it means to live on "a visited planet." He came once; He will return. Let every heart prepare Him room.

Advent

Advent is not four weeks of preparing for a birthday celebration. It comes to wake us up and realize our daily work is to see the coming of Jesus now....[T]he message of Jesus is that when our life is in ruins he is there. When sorrow breaks our hearts, he is there. The challenge of Advent is this--for us to live in such a way that others will believe they do not have to wait for Christmas. He is already here.

- Msgr. Gregory E.S. Malovetz

Longing

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
-Bertrand Russell

A friend and I were talking today about this generation of kids who have been given everything they want and then some. We were both remembering Lori Gottlieb's insightful article How to Land Your Kid in Therapy and some kids we know who are well on their path to the therapist's couch. I was lamenting my kids and all their "stuff" and how to help them become contented well-adjusted adults when everything in our culture seems to fight against us.

It is a deep concern of mine. And probably the thing I like least about Christmas: more stuff. I try to always temper this feeling with the remembrance that I don't like clutter and shopping for me is very difficult. I crave experiences...dinners out, trips, tickets. My kids, like...(sigh), stuff.

All month I've been hearing a running monologue from one child about what she wants for Christmas. I lost it last week and said, "One thing. What is one thing you want? Because I am not getting you more than one thing."

I was in the store this week with Kyrie who exclaimed that there was an American Girl doll just sitting there. I looked and realized it was sitting in a Toys for Tots bin. And I was so moved. I tried to explain that someone had given it so a little girl could have a truly wonderful Christmas who might not have received any other gift at all. I loved that someone gave a generous wonderful gift (sacrificial, maybe?).

I don't think I always strike the right balance on this one. I know things will not make my children happy; Walmart is not going to have the answer to their deepest longings. I want them to know that. Without being a killjoy.

I have to remind myself of the same lessons.

God was lavish when He sent His son. It was a gift we receive every day of our life. The Advent season is a chance, just like Lent to think about our lives without that gift. What would that look like? What would the world be without Christmas? Without an incarnational God who gets what we go through and yet has the power to rescue us from eternal destruction? Advent is a chance for me to think about that gift over and over again. To feel again the longing.

And with the longing comes the joy of the gift.

The Waiting

Some things are so horrific that to write about them seems trite. Yesterday was one of those days.

I still go back to how much Jesus Incarnate is about these horrible moments when we cry out to God and ask, "Do you care?" And Jesus is there. Saying, "I wept." Even when He knew it wasn't really over for Lazarus, and even knowing the beauty of eternity, He still wept. He still knows the biting agony of humanity, the pain of violence, the agony of loss. Even when the separation isn't final, it is still horrific.

So we wait...for what is and is not yet.

The Spirit

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. -Roman 8:26-27

I can't really decide on a "favorite verse" in the Bible. But this one is up there. And today it was the verse for my evening devotional. It was perfect timing. 

Today is the birthday of my friend Gary. Gary was a Marine with a big growl. He liked to be scary; because he was a giant softie and he didn't want anyone to know. He and his wife are dear friends and before we moved east, I went to hang out with Judy. As I drove away, we were a little teary and Gary worked hard to keep us from crying. I am glad I don't know the future or I would have been bawling like a baby. 

Gary was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer shortly after Labor Day and died on Thanksgiving. I was getting ready to leave for a family reunion in New York when the news came in that the end of Gary's pain was coming quickly.

I didn't know how to pray. I kept clutching at words and phrases and it all felt very trite, not enough. I remember saying over and over, "God, you know." 

You know, what I do not. You know what I cannot. 

I'm always glad at these moments that God became man. That even though He can see outside of time and knows what a tiny grain of sand our earthly lives are in the ocean of eternity, He still went through loss. Historians say Joseph who raised him as a father proceeded him in death. He knows as a man what loss is like. He can feel our pain and the Spirit is praying for us in these moments when words escape.  

The intercession of the Spirit in our lives is a huge relief for me. When I'm suffering with my god-complex, I need to stop and remember that I'm called to pray as an act of obedience and for my own good. I have the privilege of entering in to the work the Spirit is doing. But I don't have to be God. I don't have to know. I need to rest in the peace of knowing the work goes on, with or without me.

Peace on Earth: When?

Nearly everyone loves a good Christmas story. Right? Jesus is born in a warm, stable surrounded by clean animals that look at him adoringly while they eat. Mary feels great after delivering in a stable (I should have considered that option when I opted for the birthing inn...she looks SO good). Joseph is calm; you have to wonder what kind of stash he had found in that barn?

And the angels sing and the shepherds come and it is all "Peace on earth, good will toward men." It is lovely.

And then later, the Wise Men come and they bring him great gifts and they bow down and worship him. And there was the Star. All so very lovely.

Except this. I want to say:

"God, the Star. Not a good idea. And the Wise Men? Why don't you have them stay home? Or tell them to come later, more quietly. Definitely stop them from letting the cat out of the bag and telling Herod."

Because really, this is a peaceful event. Jesus is coming to bring peace and love.

Only Jesus really never has delivered. For gold, frankincense, and myrrh and the worship of three foreign kings, a town of baby boys under 2 was slaughtered.

It seemed to let up for awhile but then a new round of deaths started after His own life was taken. In fact Jesus seems to disown the whole "peace" thing when he says: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." -Matthew 10:34  
The history of the martyrs is one thing; but I still get a little mystified over those little boys in Bethlehem that died so Jesus could get gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 

The spiritual part of me can say "Worship is worth it." Any price...fall at His feet, bring Him gifts. I do believe that. But I would reverently request a chance to discuss this when I get to heaven. 

My world has felt far too violent. I don't need to go into it all here but having lost a family member to a violent murder has had an impact on me. I expect bad things to happen. I had a stomach ache all day while my husband was in the middle of a crazy political scene where protesters became violent. I keep it together externally fine. I just have stomach pain. A gunman went crazy today in a shopping mall I've been to a hundred times in a place I called home for 10 years of my life. People died. I'm up waiting for names to be released. That's the way I roll. 

But the angel did say "Peace on earth!" How? When? 

And that I think is Advent. He is the answer...but the waiting is not done yet. We still wait. We still cling to the hope of a peaceful earth. No amount of bumper stickers or political ideology will bring it about. If the baby who came to die isn't it, it will never happen. I believe Him. Do you?

Our Advent Countdown

Today was the day that the COUNTDOWN kicked in and Ben exclaimed that it was 2 weeks and 1 day until Christmas. Kyrie is counting down to Grammy's arrival and then Grandpa's and then Uncle Mark's. We are very excited around here.

Advent is not just about the first coming of God to earth but about the second coming as well. The hope we look to is not just past; it is our future too.

As people get older, I've noticed that the answer to their problems is the return of Jesus. And I'm skeptical. I still remember being a small girl, Kyrie's age, and hearing a preacher tell us from the pulpit that God had told him he would live to see Jesus' second coming. He was probably close to 80 then so unless he is setting longevity records, I'm guessing he might have misunderstood what God was telling Him.

And when people point to events in the world as evidence that it will be any day now, I can't help but think what people thought in 79AD when there were multiple earthquakes and Mt. Vesuvius erupted killing some 16,000 people. And then there is the Black Plague and the bodies piled high. And wars, and rumors of war, the end of civilizations. I remain unconvinced that our era is really that special.

But the older I get the more I wouldn't mind if it was. And I guess that is the point. I think age takes much of the fear out of death, in the same way that being 9 months pregnant takes much of the fear out of childbirth. (Well, fear may remain but it is surpassed by the fear of being eternally pregnant.)

I want my desire to be to see God, to worship in His presence. I still tend to get concerned that I have so much to do here ("god complex") and so much undone. I do. But much of what I should focus on is preparation for eternity and not just next week.

Except I have company coming next week. So I really do need to do both.

Advent Lessons

I am reading a book on prayer. Kneeling with Giants is frankly so frightening at times that I've set it down for a while to think, meditate, maybe actually back away from the HUGE scary world of prayer I've just been given a glimpse of. Recently I read a paragraph on the word "LORD" that impacted me. The author (Gary Neal Hansen) asks if we have any idea what that means? If we realize that He is our LORD? Or if we only bring Him our requests, forgetting we are His servants, at His command? Gulp. My prayers are a lot about asking Him to provide for me instead of me asking Him "How may I serve you today?"

I hope that this Advent season, as I await with joy, that I will remember to ask Him every day of my life "how may I serve you today?" and mean it. What an adventure it will be.

Advent Joy

We woke up to this.
It inspired me and I pumped out a Christmas letter in about 20 minutes and forgot all my routine Saturday chores. We went to Dow Gardens for the Christmas walk. Choirs, puppets, lights. It was really lovely.

Then we drove to Frankenmuth, a nearby town that is a replica of a Bavarian village. It is a huge tourist place and the largest Christmas store in the US is there. We went to the see the lights and enjoy the ambiance. Throughout the night Everleigh would call out "Look, more lights!" with urgency and such joy. Her delight was so contagious. Infectious joy. I couldn't help but think how really knowing the Lord of Christmas should be the most joyful thing ever. I love that joy and I want to exude it. It isn't just about lights. But they are nice too.

Advent Interests

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Phil. 2:3-4

Ben read these verses tonight while I tried to keep the girls from distracting him. Mike had a work event and so for "Advent time" I was on my own. We talked about those verses and what they meant to Ben and I made myself go back and read them later. 

Those verses pack a punch. In so many ways, every day we look out for our own interests. Everything I do is not done with humility. I fall easily to the draw of selfish ambition, even in wanting my children to learn their lessons faster, require less clean-up, be quieter and kinder so I don't have to intervene. Sometimes even my parenting attempts to make them "good" are about making my life easier, instead of teaching them that the source of goodness is outside themselves and they must come to Him to find even a drop of goodness to carry them through each day. 

I hope as the Advent season progresses that I can gift people with less of me and more of Him.

The Excitement Builds

I know many people who forego all treats during Advent. I love the practical aspect of avoiding sugar during December when sickness seems prevalent anyway. But we have a celebration that falls on the 5th and the anticipation has been building more and more over the last couple of days. And there will be some sugar involved.

This precocious individual showed me a picture of the cake she wanted (not an easy sheet cake) and she told me that she wanted her brother to get her "Minnie Mouse slippers." To top it all off, she has a sister who feels it her personal duty to make tomorrow's celebration a monumental occasion. She told us what to get her for birthday and has been talking up this day for a long time.

I have loved watching the love and joy that go into preparation. The clear picture we have right now of a family rallying in joy and celebration is a beautiful picture of the love and joy that accompany our preparations to welcome the Christ Child into the center of our hearts and homes.

The Anticipation (and Work) of Cards

Our first Christmas card of 2012 arrived today. It had a personal message at the bottom from friends now far away. It warmed my heart. And sped up my anticipation of the cards, letters and pictures we will receive.

When I ordered our cards nearly a month ago, there was an option to include a data file and have them addressed and sent by the company. And (no offense to those who bought that option) but, really!? For me that defeats the purpose of sending cards. If I could say in my card what I wanted to, my card would go this:

The God of the universe gave Himself as a gift and came to earth to live and die so that we might live and not die.  That gift is so amazing and I wish I could gift all the people I love in some amazing way. I can't but my gift to you is this: I took 10 minutes out of my day to address this envelope, to jot a note, and to include some news about my family.

Addressing the card, tucking it in an envelope, and usually praying for the people it is going to...all that is part of the gift. It is about all I can afford for most of my "list."

Now I just have to do it.

Advent Day 2

Today was the first Sunday of Advent and we packed a lot in. We rose early to make it our nearest Trader Joe's (1 hr, 15 min) which is a 10 minutes away from our church (also a long way from home). Usually I stop by Trader Joe's after church. But today we had new friends who came over to watch the Bears/Seahawks game with us. We had Bears' jerseys in our house  but they were gracious when we beat them.

But in order to be back to host, we had to shop first and dodge out of church fast. And it was not a great day to do so. Fr. Terry Gensemer of CEC for Life gave the sermon. I feel like I know Fr. Terry; he has been active in the prolife movement for 25+ years. There is a special grace on someone who can stand outside and abortion clinic, pray, and still smile at the end of the day. He has dealt with some of the sickest and most inhumane things that most of us could fathom and yet he goes, to pray, to attend those that are dying, and to pray that the contrast between good and evil, between a culture of death and a culture of life becomes very very clear. He has some wonderful and encouraging, even miraculous stories too. His message today was largely, on the real work of prayer. On the first Sunday of Advent as we wait for a baby, who in the womb was both God and man, being confronted with the horrors of abortion was appropriate. (Though we never are really confronted with them, are we?)

Today's reading is from Luke 3:1-16. I love these words of John:

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. (8-9)

Today's sermon, much of what I'm thinking about right now, and these verses are speaking to me that our modern western sense of self is so inflated that we (and by that I mean me) easily fall into the trap of thinking God needs us. He needs me to pray, to read His word, to the give to the poor, to serve at church. I love the picture of a smug group of Pharisees on a river bank thinking they were so important because they were God's chosen people. And then John tells them God can turn rocks into children of Abraham. And then I realize that trap. I get this feeling all the time that God NEEDS my devotion. Which is a lie.

I need Him, I need time with Him, I need to hear from Him, I need to serve Him, I need to love Him. Nothing I bring to the table is unique.

My "Look God, I'm into the spirit of Christmas, not that cultural consumerist version" is so trite. I need Christmas. I need that baby who is God/man, I need the joy only He can bring, I need the salvation He offers.

Advent Days

Life has been moving so very fast. In the busyness blogging has gone by the wayside, along with many other important things. I'm tempted to think about all I have to do in the Christmas season. I ordered cards weeks ago so they would go out last weekend since many don't have our new address. But they still sit waiting for me to address them. There's Christmas baking, Christmas gifts, we have no tree yet, and frankly, there are at least 10 boxes that have yet to be unpacked from our move four months ago. I'm very behind.

But today was a day of preparation. We embarked on Advent, a precious season of anticipation.

• My friend Heidi who was one of eleven American students (we were the "American 12") who studied in London with me for a semester bought us a Jacquie Lawson London Advent calendar. It is a beautiful calendar that has info on London landmarks, music, puzzles, and we will enjoy it this season.
• Ben has a Latin Advent Calendar that I printed and assembled. Today's word is spes, which means hope. He is our hope.
• We are using The Christmas Countdown: Creating 25 Days of New Advent Traditions for Families by Margie J. Harding. I decided to forego the day's activity...an Advent wreath, because we will have one at church tomorrow. We did read about it. I appreciate the way it isn't just for kids and has an adult action or meditation.

I'm hopeful that I will blog my way through Advent. I don't have time. But it is needful. I plan to forego an hour of sleep time to read and pray.

Tonight's reading was Malachi 3:1-6. Read it (you can even listen to it).  As middle age bears down with a vengeance, and I'm still not eating smaller portions, I'm still not praying as much as I should, I yell at the kids and when I read  (my paraphrase) I'm coming down there to purify you and refine you...make you straighten up and get it together it just made me sigh and think "good luck with that God." So I loved verse 6: “I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed." Always merciful, always waiting, always hopeful. I'm still hoping to get more refining done.  And so grateful that his mercy never ends.