Bye-Bye Superwoman

This post by my wonderful friend Lindsay triggered many thoughts. I loved what she said and how she said it.

And it made me think of the difference between picking up a cross or putting on a cape. I far prefer capes to crosses and this often results in me attempting the difficult thing that gets noticed vs. the humble thing that I need to do. Or giving an easy answer rather than listening. This season is one for sorting out what is what, but even in attempting to do that, I easily gravitate toward the cape.

There are things in this life we are called to do. We are called to be His hands, His feet, and His tear-ducts at times. But some of us, uh-hum, have trouble sticking to the cross and want to solve the problems of this world.

As a parent, I'm faced with this dilemma time and time again. I want my children to have the best childhood possible and yet, in attempting to bring that about I have to wonder if I'm doing everyone a disservice. There are times when we do fun things, yes. But I can never protect them from all evil, can never be the answer to all their problems, never know exactly what they need in the moment or what they need to be learning to be prepared for in their futures. I can only hope to keep turning them toward the cross, reminding them of their hope, redirecting them outside of themselves and teaching them to love God and not seek my approval. Which sounds far easier than it actually is. Because I want to be SuperMom.

Kyrie told me last week that I was the "Perfect Mom." I think I actually laughed that such a statement would come from her. But I set about correcting her that no one is perfect and I most certainly am NOT. Later, tucking my wise 9-year old into bed, I said, "Well, you certainly know I'm not perfect." And with his wise little eyes that hide nearly everything he's thinking (which scares the caped woman to no end), he responded, "No, but you are a good mom." (Pretty diplomatic really.)

Being a mom is a cross in one sense, not because it is oppressively burdensome, but because when done well it does require the laying down of one's self.  A new mom said to me recently, "I just didn't know you are never off; you never have time that is just yours." And while I'm thankful for more time to myself these days, I sometimes have to stop the important thing I think I'm doing and give 100% to my family.

At the same time, my children are learning that I have other roles, and that I don't have all the answers. They will be better neighbors, friends, spouses, people for knowing that the world doesn't revolve around them and for learning early that I can't solve all of their problems. They have to learn to pray, and to seek God.

And so I try to start my day looking to the One Who Knows and remember not to get irritated when the day doesn't follow the plan. And not get tired and give up in the face of difficulties either. Capes vs. crosses.  One seems light but is utterly impossible. One is heavy but leads to life.