Pardon My Foolishness....

"The ashes on my face and the ashes on yours speak to each other...: Pardon my foolishness. I would like to start over." -Patrick J. Ryan

I try every year to be ready for the start of Lent. Every year, it starts and I feel like I'm still making preparations. I never quite feel ready; it always feels like the company arrived thirty minutes early.  And I do hope I am not one of the Foolish Virgins, asking "Can I borrow some oil?"

But the preparation always makes me realize how much is in the way of true communion with God. It also makes me wonder "Do I love Him?"  The answer is emphatically "YES!" but oh, so imperfectly. I hate Lent because it is the decimation of my self. I love Lent because it is the beginning of Easter. And my life and hope are bound up in Easter and in God's mercy.

My morning started to an alarm. It was jarring. I knew it was coming and my sleep was negatively affected in anticipation of the racket. I have fallen into a comfortable rhythm of using my daughters as my little alarms. They wake me and then I hit the snooze and a short time later, my husband brings me a cup of coffee to start my day by easing me into morning. I really do prefer this.

The trouble is that I have little time for reflective prayer. I pray all day long; kids drive you to it. But while I ease into the day this way, I always feel a few steps behind. There is always something left undone at the end of the day; and while I doubt that will change, during this season especially, I don't want that thing to be that I didn't say "I love you" to God.

So, the alarm. I've committed to waking early, before my daughters' normal waking time. I'm giving myself an extra 30 minutes to say "Good morning God" before it all begins.