Goals: Family (Part 1: My Parenting)

I've taken the last week or so to think about some of my goals and one area that I moved to the top was parenting. If you are following these goal categories, I guess you could call it "family goals." Which is a great topic. But for the present I need to focus on my end of it, which is parenting.

It is clear to me that I got bogged down quickly this fall and became the parent I don't want to be. When I get tired, my parenting becomes whiny (instead of firm), loud (instead of action-based), and anything but playful. I am not good at playing with my kids ever, but I do make intentional moves to be more fun. I have a close friend who remembers a childhood in which her mother was forever cleaning the house and never happy with it, never playing with her kids, and not any fun. I am that mother. My friend's house is frequently a disaster, but yesterday when it snowed, she took her kids sledding. I do believe in balance; kids should learn to be responsible and take care of their things, but I tend toward the uptight "Pick up your toys NOW" mother. My own mother was great at taking time to play with us. But we also played outside more as children than our kids do (our kids fall victim to weather and suburbia) which had to have helped give my mother time on her other projects indoors.

When I'm exhausted, I'm too tired to engage in art or science projects that create more work. And I also stop teaching my kids how to help me because it is easier just to scoot them out of the way and get it done faster. I know some things that work; I just need to do them again. So, here goes:

1) Be intentional and clear-headed about my parenting.

• Reassess monthly what is and is not working and realign my parenting to a model I can be proud of. I have an hour set up on my calendar to this each month.
• Re-read two parenting books this year. (The first will be How to Pray for Your Children which I'm cross-listing with my spiritual goals. Parenting books inspire me and learning from others is essential to growth.)
• Do my best to retreat and regroup when I am failing. My oldest two understand that I have to step outside and walk around the driveway sometimes. They encourage it. I need to do it sooner before my rope is hopelessly frayed.

 2) Balance fun and responsibility.

• Be patient and teach the older two to step up their help around the house. Continue to reinforce picking up her own toys with the 2-yr old. And be ready to potty-train her when I see signs of readiness. 
• Try to play at least one game (board or outside) a week. 
• Continue to motivate responsible behavior with rewards without bribing.