A man I used to work with passed away suddenly this summer from a brain tumor. He was a saintly man, a quiet Christian who just did his job and loved the out of doors. For years, he stayed in touch at Christmas. I only learned of his death just over a month ago and when I learned, I sent a card and note to his widow.
Yesterday I received a 10-page letter from his wife, along with a program from his funeral, and another from a memorial service. She reminded me that her daughter had gone to college with my cousin Shannon (who was murdered in 1996) and that she had felt she knew me from what her husband had told her and our Christmas letters.
I have learned one thing about grief. I haven't always said the right thing and there are very wrong things to say to grieving people. I know I've said them. But from being on the other end, the one right thing you can always do is to reach out and remember the wonderful things about the person they loved. I'm glad I could do that this time.
2 comments:
Your words especially touched me. As you know, I experienced the death of my son just before Shannon was murdered. Thankfully, I have not heard many "wrong" comments, and I forgive them because they could have said nothing at all. At least they remembered him. I may also say the wrong thing to someone. You are right that acknowledging the loss and telling some personal experience means so much to a person coping with grief.
I love to read your posts and see pictures of your family. I haven't seen "The Help" yet, but will as soon as it's on DVD.
Jenny from South Carolina
He was such a kind man. I am thankful that you reached out to Phyllis.
Judy
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