from the mom
To my firstborn son, I impose the responsibility of changing my diapers when I am old and senile. I don't care if he is a superstar musician, Nobel prize-winning physicist or President of the United States. For 2 1/2 years (or more if he does not potty-train soon) he will change my diapers or be cut off from my vast fortune (I'm still working on how to attain this). My attorney will remind him of the terms should he "forget."
When he thinks this an overwhelming burden, he should remember the days his mother didn't get a shower until after noon because she was feeding him breakfast, playing games with, using graphically embarrassing language, offering him stickers, trips to McDonalds, and new toys all while he sat on the potty doing nothing. She comforted the tears, talked about the day he would be a big man and find it necessary to live in something other than diapers, and explained how rising fuel costs have stretched the family budget and there is no more money for diapers for those family members over 3 years of age. He should remember that stay-at-home mothers whose children potty-train before 3 have a current salary value of $117,00 or more; the bonuses for mothers whose children refuse until after 4 could put her in daily spa treatments for the next 60 years.
I could go on, but I think my son will see my point.
1 comment:
I don't know why I didn't think of this before but I will start praying that Ben "let's go" of his diapers and trains very promptly for you.
I'll be knocking on your door for advice soon (I HOPE!).
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