My Life as a Dream

from the mom

I'm 4+ years into this motherhood thing and 5+ years into marriage and I still sometimes expect to wake up and find myself single and working to pay the rent. Friday I went to Ben's school for a Mother's Day Tea. As I was walking to his classroom, I was thinking, "I'm a mother. Mother's Day isn't just for my mom anymore. I'm going to a tea with my child; oh, and he's 4!"

I'm not sure why it is so hard for me to believe that this is my life, and these are my kids. Sleep deprivation maybe? Or that despite asthma, babies that won't sleep, a boy who won't potty train, and a house in which I have finally accepted that the toys ARE going to win for a few years no matter what I do, this is a dream-life. My husband goes off to work each day and I get to stay home and watch my son teach himself to read, learn to contradict me in Spanish, and let me read him stories.

A few minutes ago a little girl streaked out of her bath and threw her arms around my neck and hung on. I am pretty much amazed we share the same genes. At 18 months she dances better than me, she seems to have an intuitive emotional intelligence lacking in many much older than herself, and she wants to learn to vacuum. (Oh blessed girl!)

My husband just took me to dinner (again) for Mother's Day and I still think he is the most fascinating person to talk to.

I work pretty hard to be certain single women with romance on the brain understand all the work that goes into marriage and motherhood. But the truth is, for me, it is so good, it still feels like a dream.