The Nanny Diaries

from the mom

I took my friend to see The Nanny Diaries for her birthday expecting a light-hearted romp. Instead I was plunged into a sea of memories from the past.

It has been 15 years since I left my job as a nanny to two girls (ages 7 and 9) in Maryland. I still wonder how they have fared in life. Many things about the movie resembled what I saw: the control freak mother who does nothing but still needs help (mine was a flight attendant who called in sick for all but two trips she was scheduled to take that summer); the children who desperately need their parents presence and who get pawned off on others; the nanny who is responsible for their education (I was told to do the homework of the 7-year old); the father who crosses the line with the nanny (mine was fine until I woke up at 2am with him standing over my bed when the mom was out of town). The movie hit so close to home on so many counts right up to where the nanny is handed an envelope with her final paycheck and it contains a mere fraction of what is owed her. I never received my final paycheck.

Then there is the sadness you feel at not being in the lives of your charges anymore. As horrible as the little girls I took care of could be, I was aware that it was the parenting (or lack thereof) that was the largest contributing factor to their behavior. I hated being another person who abandoned them; but they weren't my children and while I chose to leave, I had immense sadness at what that must have done to them.

I thought the movie had a lot of good things to say about the emptiness of wealth, and the need for parents to parent. But it is not light-hearted comedy. It is a rather serious look at the empty lives of the wealthy families who employ others to raise their children.

I came away grateful for my parents and reminded that what my children need is me and their dad.

P.S. As movies go, it wasn't what it was billed as: fun comedy. But the acting, particularly Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti as the wealthy empty parents, was great.