from Ben's mom
A month or two ago, TIME magazine did an article on what makes some people ambitious and not. They explored the lives of those they consider successful (as a result of ambition) and cited a number of statistics about "ambitious" people.
I realized I am not ambitious. I have had sparks of determination, such as going off to college and working my way through, despite having no money. It took me seven years (with time off to work) but I made it. However, I have never been very ambitious about getting a job, or advancing. Several times in my "career" (or whatever), it was suggested to me that I had what it took to go to the top of my field. I remember thinking about it and determining that I wasn't really interested in the top of my field, a very lonely, stressful place with high turnover. I did have a different kind of ambition. To do a good job where I was at. But it was never really to "get ahead."
The article suggested that women were a bit of an anomaly. They talked about how some "ambitious" women, would suddenly change at a certain point in their lives, throw in their career towels and 6 figure incomes and stay home with their kids. The only thing that the author could conclude, is that these women, turned their self-absorbed ambition into motivation for their families to get ahead. They began to see their own success intertwined with the success of their husbands and children.
I can relate to that supposition a little bit. It's just that I don't define success in terms of career position or income earned. I want my husband and children to live healthy, happy lives: emotionally, physically, spiritually. So I am likely to push for that when my husband works late, and encourage him to view life in a bigger context than his job. I am a bit annoying when I think he isn't eating the right things or drinking enough water. And I recognize that his spiritual health is essential to all of our well-being.
I suspect we all have certain things that we think defines success. I admit that a college education is very important to me, and my children will probably feel the importance I place on their education. In my head, education and travel are two things I really want my children to experience and part of my ambition is to ensure that they can have those two things in their lives.
How about you? Are you ambitious? What things are part of "the success package" for you?
6 comments:
I am not at all ambitious; in fact, I think I should be more than I am.
"Success package." Good term. Let's see what's in mine.
1) That my kids will have a good relationship with me as they grow up, and when they are adults.
2) That my wife will always view as the type of husband she needs and wants.
3) That I have time to minister to others through my church.
4) That my children and my wife become better acquainted with Christ through my example.
Note that there's not a whole lot of job-oriented things there. While I love my job, I view it primarily as an opportunity to earn money so that I can fulfill #1-4 above.
--DJ
Last night I came home from work. When I walked through the door, Ben jumped out from behind the table where he was hiding, ran at me, and tried to whack me with an empty wrapping paper cardboard tube. He laughed hysterically when I fell over.
Who can value a career over a welcome like that?
I remember one night we talked about us not being ambitious when you were living here, going to school, working. We seemed to agree that "very ambitious" meant, to us, more stress, less time to enjoy people and life. I think we are both right where we need to be. Judy
Here's the other half of the Jones Success Package:
* That Darren will look back and be able to say that his wife always supported him and never, ever ran him down or held him back.
* That our children grow up to know and love God, their parents, and one another.
* That I do something effective with my writing. Making money would be good, but not necessarily required.
* That I make and keep good friends all my life. (Yay blogs!)
I agree with the comment above: most "ambition" seems to lead to more stress and less life. I just read about a great CEO who launched his company's daring new product, and died of a heart attack two months later. And I thought, He died over shaving products?! I love your point of view, Rachelle. You always make me think.
-- SJ
Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote an excellent composition on ambition in These Happy Golden Years: 'Ambition is a good servant but a bad master....In the words of Shakespeare: Cromwell, I charge thee, fling away ambition, for by that sin fell the angels.'
I think a good success package includes general happiness. I know happiness is far too fleeting a thing to make it our end goal in life, but it should be a natural by-product of a life well-lived. And if I can be happy with very little money, then money is an irrelevant part of success. That being said, there are two very useful things that I personally want money for later in life:
1) Music lessons for the kids;
2) Braces for those kids who need them.
The rest are all intangibles. In general, I want to love and be loved. 'Leave the world a better place when I die' is rather a vague platitude, but I do want to be an improvement on my surroundings.
Rachelle, I forgot to tell you...this inspired a whole post on my blog!
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