"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
-Bertrand Russell
A friend and I were talking today about this generation of kids who have been given everything they want and then some. We were both remembering Lori Gottlieb's insightful article How to Land Your Kid in Therapy and some kids we know who are well on their path to the therapist's couch. I was lamenting my kids and all their "stuff" and how to help them become contented well-adjusted adults when everything in our culture seems to fight against us.
It is a deep concern of mine. And probably the thing I like least about Christmas: more stuff. I try to always temper this feeling with the remembrance that I don't like clutter and shopping for me is very difficult. I crave experiences...dinners out, trips, tickets. My kids, like...(sigh), stuff.
All month I've been hearing a running monologue from one child about what she wants for Christmas. I lost it last week and said, "One thing. What is one thing you want? Because I am not getting you more than one thing."
I was in the store this week with Kyrie who exclaimed that there was an American Girl doll just sitting there. I looked and realized it was sitting in a Toys for Tots bin. And I was so moved. I tried to explain that someone had given it so a little girl could have a truly wonderful Christmas who might not have received any other gift at all. I loved that someone gave a generous wonderful gift (sacrificial, maybe?).
I don't think I always strike the right balance on this one. I know things will not make my children happy; Walmart is not going to have the answer to their deepest longings. I want them to know that. Without being a killjoy.
I have to remind myself of the same lessons.
God was lavish when He sent His son. It was a gift we receive every day of our life. The Advent season is a chance, just like Lent to think about our lives without that gift. What would that look like? What would the world be without Christmas? Without an incarnational God who gets what we go through and yet has the power to rescue us from eternal destruction? Advent is a chance for me to think about that gift over and over again. To feel again the longing.
And with the longing comes the joy of the gift.
2 comments:
hey, thanks for sharing the article. also, thanks for letting me know that i'm not the only one inundated with the want list. i even took the kids with me to the WHO shelter--Winter Hospitality Overflow--that our church helps out with for the homeless. Um, that didn't go well when the kids saw the people with their ipods/pads playing near the power outlets all lined up down the hallways. i can't even teach the lesson of people not having things!
I think they sometimes need to experience it themselves. Just after this last debate tournament where one of my sons achieved all his goals and got lots of trophies, he said to me, "What should I shoot for now? I achieved all the goals I set for myself in debate." We had a good quick discussion on how worldly things can only make you happy for a little while.
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