Oh, the Folly of Wives

I saw a photo of Gisele Bundchen talking to Tom Brady after the Super Bowl and thought, wow, she looks like a German frau and not a supermodel. Yes, a pretty German frau, but a wife, not an underwear model. I'd glanced over headlines like this one: Gisele Bundchen reportedly asks friends and family to pray for Tom Brady and felt a little bad for her, that the news media was creating a media frenzy over a perfectly normal request.

And then the Patriots lost the Super Bowl and Gisele was overheard blaming the Pats receivers and all media hell broke loose. Now even a Giants' running back has joined in and given Gisele some good advice: "Shut up." I hope for the sake of her husband's career and her marriage and peace of mind, she can follow that advice. Because it isn't always easy advice to follow.

I am also an opinionated wife, predisposed to say too much, and to turn into a Rottweiler when I think my husband is undervalued, overworked, or just not properly appreciated.  (And that is perhaps where any similarities between Mrs. Brady and me end.) And I'm not the only one. I don't know very many wives who think their husbands are paid enough (though I hope Gisele knows better), don't work hard enough, or are appreciated for their full merit.

We may at times be right. But the best advice I have for Gisele, expanding on Brandon Jacobs, is the advice I think all wives should benefit from: be careful, very careful when you weigh in on your man's career. There is a time and a place to work together and make decisions about his livelihood (and yours), but the best support you can give is to believe in him as a person and supporting and trusting him to look out for himself out there.

I'm always honored when my husband asks for my advice on something he's written or a situation at work. I hope he keeps asking. I suspect he will if I can always remember that mine is just one piece of advice. He can compile it with others and make a decision, sometimes a decision that runs contrary to what I said. Likewise, I ask him for advice on work I'm doing knowing him to be wise and knowledgeable. But in the end, the decision has to be mine because I'm accountable for the results.

Somehow, I don't think Gisele knows best how to do Tom Brady's job and in a less heated moment she would know the Patriots' receivers wanted to catch those balls. She's just being a wife.