First, everyone should read this article from The Atlantic Monthly. I normally put these things in my sidebar but "How to Land Your Kid in Therapy" was just too important. Mike immediately thought of kids we know who are headed for therapy. I thought of a few adults I know that are never happy and seem to think what they are feeling should make the world around them come to a stop in pity. It also caused me to contemplate the crazy world of handing your kid every little thing you think they will need and trying to make their every experience a constant whirlwind of fun. And it made me thankful.
My parents were pretty good at the balance. They prioritized raising their children, didn't leave us out of their world, and encouraged us to use our gifts. But they sent some criticism along the way. Which is important.
My mom told me I was fat when I was 19. I didn't love it; it hurt. But when I'm tempted to believe the lie that I should just accept myself for who I am, those words motivate me. Because who I am is a lazy, unmotivated, overindulger. I love to overeat. I hate to exercise. And I have to believe I can be MORE than I am.
My father told me when I was in grade school that I was a "whiner." And then he quit responding to my whining. I am a whiner. Still. But I am less of a whiner because he made a conscious decision to confront me on it and PARENT me. Not indulge me. And my husband should be mighty grateful.
He also told me when I worked for him in high school that I was SLOW. Oh that hurt! I wanted to argue with him. Instead I worked on doing my job more quickly. I think you would be hard-pressed to find any of my (later) employers who would tell you that I was slow on the job.
So, thank you, Mom and Dad. And thank you Lori Gottlieb. You reminded me that part of my job as a parent is to tell my kids the hard things. To motivate them to do the right thing. And to not hand them all of life's pleasures and rewards but teach them how to work hard for them. My job is to raise future adults.
1 comment:
1.You were the BEST employee with organizational skills far superior to any others I have ever worked with. 2. Yes, your parents did a fab job and you did the rest. And the rest is the majority of your lifetime so far. 3. Billing for kids and adults in therapy provide my income but wouldn't it be nice if this wasn't a profession? 4. Lazy, with 3 kids and homeschooling? I think not. Judy
Post a Comment