Trespassers

Not too long ago I undertook to explain The Lord's Prayer to the children. I found myself exchanging "sins" for "trespasses" and "sinners" for "those who trespass against us" only to realize that "trespass" is much easier to understand for those of us who are visual learners. Explaining "sin" to a child can be a challenge. Explaining "trespass" is not so hard. Ben and Kyri daily trespass on each other and on each other's property.

With that realization came a deeper reality. I didn't understand what I was praying. In fact I had a whole lot of trespassers to forgive. When I thought visually of those who had trampled on me, on my "rights" and on the rights of those that I love, I had faces dropping into my mind's view all over the place.

A subsequent sermon on the Lord's prayer which could be nicely summarized as this:

The Lord's prayer teaches us to ask for help with our fears, failures, hurts, and hopes.

Around the same time, I heard that someone who had trespassed on my livelihood and reputation and betrayed me years ago with lies, now was, in fact, doing it again to a casual friend. I had gone through the process of forgiving this person; I think I really did. But when I heard about the latest round of betrayal and hurtful behavior, I found my teeth clenching.

This has given me a glimpse into understanding the phrase "forgive and forget." I never knew how I was supposed to forget. And I'm still not certain. But I've realized that I have to release an offense and somehow not pick it up again. Which isn't so easy with habitual offenders. But who among us isn't a habitual offender against God?

I've felt the burden of anger in my body over the last week and have found myself praying only to stop in fear. I'm not sure how to really and finally forgive. But I have taken the small step of asking God to teach me.