Day 38

I'm not one for getting too into the spirit world. But there is something weird about Maundy Thursday. This is perhaps the tiredest day of the year for me and has been for most of the last decade. Or since I discovered the significance of Maundy Thursday.

I think the disciples were out there in the Garden of Gethsemane not only drop-dead tired from a long day but dealing with spirits lulling them into sleep when their Lord needed them to watch and pray. I used to think they were just really a bunch of serious losers at the time God needed them most; now, I realize that the whole Universe was in a battle between darkness and light on that night. And they just weren't up to the cosmic battle.

For a few years our church would have a sign up sheet where we would each take an hour through the night to "watch and pray." Some years I have taken the hard hour (3-4am is the epitome of difficult to me) and worked away at it. Sometimes I've gone for 11pm-12, which is not so hard for me. Most times I found getting up and praying for the first 40 minutes to be nearly impossible. Like shoving against a brick wall as it falls on you. And then the last 20 minutes seems to fly by and I return to sleep, having punctured something somewhere.

I'm not going to plan an hour this night to get up. But I will be praying in the early morning sometime. When I feed my baby, I will remember many of you who have asked for prayers....And I will thank God for this night, so long ago.