Day 35

And when ye stand praying, forgive if ye have aught against any, that your Father also who is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

Forgiveness is painful. I'll think I've forgiven someone only to have something remind me of what they did to hurt me or someone I love and it will come back. Sometimes years later. Forgiving is a verb for me. A constant action. Sometimes I put the task aside for awhile while the pain subsides but I know it has to be picked up again at some point.

I take comfort in what my uncle told me. He's never been an angry man but after my cousin (his daughter) was murdered, he finally reached the point where he told God that forgiving her killer was not something he could do. And he pointed out that Jesus had taken His burdens on the cross. And he asked if he couldn't have Jesus do the forgiving instead. I took that to heart. I have let myself drop the burden of forgiveness in God's lap and asked Him to do it for me. But I have to stay open to healing. And releasing the offender to God's grace. Keep praying. Keep trying to let the sting go. I'm much better at praying the Psalms and asking for God's justice to be heaped upon him/her.

I was thinking about Jesus and all He had to forgive just during this week of His life. Judas, his disciples, the religious rulers, the political leaders, etc....But Jesus is God.

What about Mary? She had to forgive people for the events of this week too. She had probably housed and fed Judas. And Peter was probably someone she trusted to stand by her Son in the hard times. She'd been raised to be a nice Jewish girl and she probably believed the rabbis were special people, above conniving to have her son murdered. How did she go about forgiving all those who hurt her son?

And if she could do it (with God's grace), why can't I?