Recently I called my brother and he informed me that he was at Starbucks with his Bible and notebook, having devotions. I can't even describe the envy that raced through me in that moment. I had finally had a couple of seconds to call and talk to someone adult, I had struggled to get dressed that day, and the thought of quiet time....I wanted to trade lives with him for about an hour. (And then I would want to trade back.)
I don't really get quiet time. And that has been an excuse for a long time to not have a regular time with God. But the spiritual dryness that has been my life lately was getting to be disturbing and so I've determined to just make time. Even if it is anything but quiet. I've been surprised this week that one can read their Bible and pray while holding a baby and supervising a 3-year old at play. It helps that Ben joins in with me. It isn't serene, it is interrupted, and it can be loud.
My marriage is like that. The first year of our marriage was quiet dinners, a movie, lots of sleep (we didn't know that then), quickly accomplishing household chores. We looked into each others eyes a lot.
Now I catch myself thinking that I haven't actually looked at Mike in weeks. We're working alongside each other putting out fires (not literally yet) and taking care of little people and trying to keep up with life. I miss the rhythm of that first year a lot, but I don't love him any less.
During this season of life, I'm learning to love God differently, not less.
1 comment:
The last line of this was so moving and beautiful. You have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself. Glad you have Ben sharing in your prayers and Mike knows you love him deeply. PS So does God.
Judy
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