Arranged

Mike had a late meeting last night and everyone went to bed on time, leaving me to watch a movie on Netflix Instant. I was surprised at how much I loved Arranged and could relate to it. Surprising, considering it is about two women in New York City, a Muslim and an Orthodox Jew who become friends as their families are in the process of trying to arrange marriages for them. I thought the movie dealt sensitively with their beliefs and accurately showed the tension of being misunderstood by both your family and the outside culture.

As much as these women want to respect their families and religious faith, they can see big holes in an inflexible system. Wisely they see that the dominant culture of dating, hooking up and trying to find a life partner alone has some major drawbacks too. I was reminded of myself and so many young women I know who patiently tried to explain to others that "courtship" was not in and of itself the answer. That it wouldn't remove the heartache, tension, and messiness from a difficult time of life.

The movie just reminded me of how hard those years are when you are wanting to settle into a lifelong relationship and people around you are reminding you that "it's time" and the immense pressure. In the Orthodox Jewish culture, arranged dates occur, and so we watch Rachel sit through date after date with either withdrawn, socially backward young men or overconfident, can-talk-about-nothing-but-themselves men. I could so relate to that horrible awkward uncomfortableness.

And then there's the parents and relatives who imply that these girls are too picky and who act like the whole process was a cake-walk for them, and they smile dreamily at each other to say, "See we lived happily ever after, so the problem must be with you." Oh, my single friends. I remember your pain. And this movie will make you laugh, and cry, and perhaps want to throw something at the screen.

The ending was unsatisfactory for me. It was just too easy. Having dealt with this enormous and realistic tension, (Spoiler warning)

it all works out happily in the end and they both meet at the park with their new babies to talk about their happy lives. I wanted to know what happens if it doesn't work out? if they don't marry? or don't produce offspring a year later?

But ultimately this was a fabulous movie with great respect for people of belief. And for those who do things differently.