Rest in Peace

A family friend was killed Monday night when he fell asleep driving home from the airport upon return from his brother's wedding. I worked with Landon in his family's business when he was still in grammar school. I didn't know him well as a young adult but my brother had taken him under his wing and started mentoring him this year when he moved to California and started law school. Mark was possibly the last person he spoke to before he hit the tree and when Mark found out the next morning his last call dialed was Landon. He said his last words were: "Drive safe."

It is difficult to watch people ask hard questions and to come against what little control we all really have in this life. As a daughter, sister, wife, and especially mother, I have to face this issue over and over again. My dreams are full of tragedy which is the only place I can control it. I can wake up. But real life means you can't wake up.

I'm fortunate to have a strong faith in the resurrection and all the hope it extends to those who believe. But I'd be lying if I said things like this were suddenly easy. They aren't. And sometimes our questions come from our faith.

A friend had news of another friend who was also in an accident this week. He miraculously survived a deer running out in front of his motorcycle. He was unconscious for quite some time but still walked out of the hospital the same night with only cuts and bruises. My friend asked a good question. We rejoice that Ryan is fine and we give God the glory. So why Ryan? Why not Landon? Living with free will and the consequences of the fall that is meted out to the entire human race irrespective of persons isn't easy.

Sunday we will attend the memorial and I see no way to not take our kids. And I'm still processing how and what to tell them. One of my first thoughts was for the horridness his brother and sister-in-law would face as they tried to explain to their 2-year old son who loved his Uncle Landon.

However, I've lived long enough to watch people who try to run from pain and suffering and shield their kids from it in this life to know they are never successful. We will have to prayerfully make clear to Ben that our hope is sometimes not seen.

Being human is oh so horrible at times. And oh so wonderful at others.