from the mom
Not too long ago I joined Facebook. I did so relunctantly after several emails from friends suggesting I do so. I talked to friends with Facebook and they assured me I could ignore all the applications I didn't want to deal with. I've connected with a few old friends, but in general it is the generation just younger than me that is into Facebook.
Which is probably why my husband started using my Facebook to find his friends. And found enough that he joined Facebook several days after I did. My brother was on board with his own account within the week.
All of which was fodder for recognizing the differences in our personalities. My brother had 100 friends within two days. I was still in the 30s and I was finding my friends through him. "How do you know (insert name here)?" I would ask him. "You introduced me once." The whole world is just waiting for my brother to be introduced so he can befriend them and attend their weddings and be godparent to their children.
Then there is my husband. I have a "friend request" from someone I really don't know. I lamented to him: "But I don't even know him."
"Ignore him. He's just trying to up his numbers." My husband has no problem ignoring people he doesn't consider a friend or doesn't know well enough.
I can't do that. "I mean I don't mind being his friend; I just don't really know him." I still haven't made the decision.
One thing I really love about my husband is he feels no responsibility to do something false because it is expected. I like to make people feel comfortable and recently I discovered that I have two smiles--the real one, and the "I want you to have a good day and feel ok about yourself" so I'm smiling at you.
And I admire my brother who has no fear of rejection. If he knows someone and wants to be their Facebook friend, he asks. (And if they said "no" it wouldn't bother him in the least.) I have an internal discussion about how they may not feel they really know me and may not want to be my friend and do I want to make them feel awkward by putting them that in that position. It is a wonder I sleep.
I've built my "friends" slowly and carefully. Most of my friends found me. But I have enjoyed connecting with a few old friends I haven't seen in years. It makes the world seem a little smaller. And I feel kinda hip that I even know what Facebook is. Coming soon, an IPOD (that our bank is giving us for free for opening an interest checking account.) Then I'll really be cool. But not as cool as my brother and my husband.
4 comments:
Isn't it odd to think about how the word "friend" has evolved. Facebook has presented us with the loosest definition! I read something recently about how some people ask to be others' friends to stalk them (like ex-boyfriends, etc.). I guess if it ends up being a problem, you can uninvite a friend. But that might be worse than just ignoring their friend request. Life is so complicated in the computer age. :)
I am with you. I too wonder if people will be weirded out if I ask to be their "friend" and I also wonder if people are offended if I ignore their request. But then... I've not been offended when I've been ignored. Oh well... Life's too short to worry about such things. I'm with Amy too. Can't believe how the word "friend" has changed. I caught myself referring to someone as a "friend" the other day when I realized... they were more like an acquaintance through an acquaintance... but how else do I explain my connection? "I was talking to this stranger that I happen to know..."
great topic R. I joined Facebook with almost as much reluctance as I considered MySpace. I haven't looked up friends- I just let them find me. And I reject invites from people I don't know well. It is pretty amazing though how I've touched base with some old friends- using that word in the traditional sense- people that I was once close to before time and distance had their effect.
Ok, Rachelle you are officially cooler than me. I don't really know that much about Facebook, but Billy and I have been turned off by MySpace because we have some "acquaintances" who don't seem to act like adults when they are online. But obviously not everyone is like that!
I did get an ipod, though, for our anniversary last December. :) It works wonders when the babies are all screaming!
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