from the mom
I've reached a point this week where I am so weary I could drop. It is mainly physical with our two children continuing to keep their own uniquely original sleep patterns at the expense of their parents. We're finally having SOME success with Kyrie going to bed at a decent hour; it just means that she is up early. Ben, on the other hand, has had trouble sleeping at night and seems to want to keep musician's hours. He loves his nap.
But there are other elements too. I have felt a loneliness this summer I've not dealt with in a long time. The people I feel I could reach out to are far away, and I am not entirely sure what to say. I have questioned aspects of my faith anew and I have had a deep need to talk about religion, philosophy, culture, and world events. But I'm too tired to start at the beginning. I would like to sit down with an old friend who knows me and pick up where we left off.
I have had a few really refreshing moments in an otherwise long, tired summer. A movie with an old friend and a mid-day phone call from a former roommate are recent standouts. And in the midst of asking if prayer really ever mattered, unexpected reminders of long-ago answered prayer have found their way into my life. For these moments I am thankful. And I'm praying for a few more. Soon.
4 comments:
I know the feeling of needing to talk and being too tired to talk even if there was someone to talk to. Praying you find strength and rest and more chances to talk soon.
It does make it hard when your closest friends live far away. I went through one phase where I not only didn't have good friends close by, but all my attempts to make new friends fell through. I was very lonely. For me, it was a time when I learned not to fear lonliness (although I never liked it) and stepped a little closer to God. Maybe your experience will be different, but God is no less present.
But, oh, broken sleep! That's enough to conquer any parent. Daphne's giving us fits, too, but at least that's just one at a time. I'll pray that their schedules start meshing.
-- SJ
Boy do I know that feeling. So been there! Not fun.
I was bemoaning the fact the other day that all the people I feel the closest to live a million miles away (or what might as well be). I don't know whether to blame the technilogical age or what! It keeps us in touch but in some ways it hurts us.
I miss being able to grow up with family friends. I wish half the bloggers lived in town.
Then we wouldn't need blogs.
Courage to you, Sweet Friend... that phone call meant so much to me, and I'm so grateful for all that you are and all the wisdom you have to share.
October is coming, and we'll schedule that sit-down-I-know-where-you-come-from chat then.
Love you!
Post a Comment