Helicopter Parents

from the mom

USA Today ran an article this week on parents who are helping their kids get jobs.

Now "helping" used to mean sitting down with their children and talking about their strengths, weaknesses, interests, and qualifications. Maybe giving some advice on what to wear to an interview and what kinds of questions to ask. Actually getting the job was Jr.'s responsibility.

But these parents are picking out interview clothes, calling to ask about benefits, negotiating salaries, writing resumes, and contacting employers about why Jr. didn't get the job. Perhaps going a little far?

I got a dose of this kind of parenting when I worked in college admissions. I did my very must to gently educate parents who were learning to let go. For some it was simply a reminder that I needed to ask their son or daughter questions about their application. For some, it was the painful realization that the parent had helped to complete the application. I had many conversations with parents who wanted to know why their son or daughter had been denied admission. The one time I received that call from the teenage applicant himself, I was so impressed I wished I could reverse the decision.

Housing forms were commonly filled out by mothers, especially for their teenage sons. This presented an accuracy problem on everything from how they kept their room (we were looking for how they would do without their mom telling them to clean it) to what style of music they liked.

Recently someone I know received a resume/job application sent in by the mother of the applicant. She had an excuse. Her son was in jail. (It still made it straight into the waste basket.)

One of my primary tasks as a parent is preparing my son and daughter to navigate the world of adulthood. It sounds like this is an area where many parents are failing. If I can pull this off, my children will be highly sought after by colleges and employers. Oh, and potential spouses.