Practicing for Motherhood

from the mom

For those of you facing impending motherhood, a few items to help you prepare:

1) Tie one hand behind your back and do everything -cook, clean, type-- one-handed. Then you won't be surprised when you do it with a baby in one hand.

2) Practice peripheral vision. Learn to listen for sounds coming from upstairs and learn to identify what objects are being moved. This will help with the toddler years when you have to tell from one location what destruction is being wrought in another.

3) When you use the bathroom, feel a huge sense of satisfaction that you went ALONE and say, "Thank you for giving Mommy privacy." It will be years before you get to actually say it, but when you do, you will be oh, so grateful.

4) Lay down to sleep, and then jolt yourself awake ten minutes later. This will prepare you for the long nights ahead.

5) At about 3:50pm, say to yourself, "It doesn't matter what needs cleaned, or that I should start dinner soon, I have to take advantage of this quiet and take a nap (10 minutes) right now." Learn to fall into a dead sleep in 20 seconds.

6) Eat your lunch with a washcloth in one hand while moving between the table, kitchen counter, and kitchen sink.

7) Carry plastic bags with you everywhere, along with a spare diaper, wipes, and outfit. It would be good if you could carry an extra shirt for yourself, in case you should get spit up upon.

8) Steer your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle where little hands can't reach out and grab things or knock anything over. Carry antibacterial gel with you and wipe down the grocery cart handle before your teether gets their mouth on it

9) Learn to spot cigarette butts, bits of garbage and anything else that your toddler might find interesting from at least ten feet away and find an alternate route.

10) Do a little weightlifting. You'll need to be able to carry a weighted diaper bag and a infant car seat carrier with baby in it. You'll also need to work on stretches. You'll need to be able to reach into the car seat in the seat behind you to give a pacificier, food, or toy to a crying child while driving safely.

Good Luck on your training!