Negotiating A Contract for Workers

Opinion - Negotiating a contract for workers
Thursday, October 27, 2005
ELIZABETH HOVDE for The Columbian

Perhaps I should unionize and fight for a better contract. The conditions in which I find myself working some days are extraordinary.

Yesterday, I only got one bathroom break. Forget about time to myself for lunch or coffee. There was screaming and a foul odor and more than once I found myself soaked in vomit. The slave driver simply laughed when I reported to him. And at the end of the day, it seemed I had less money than when I started. The boss must have drunk my wages.

Don't even get me started on the hours. They are killer. All day, seven days a week. I am on call every night, there are no vacations, and sick time is a joke. You end up having to wipe more than your own nose.

Sometimes I find myself jealous of the part-timer who arrives at 6 p.m. each day to help out. I fantasize about the hours he has away from here the lunches, the meetings, the banter with peers, the exercise. He takes part in these activities without the threat of an abrupt ending. And sometimes I daydream about getting a whole day off to tie up loose ends like paying the bills, finding an IRA, picking up my new contacts, dying my hair, developing film, mowing the lawn, calling the chimney sweeper, fixing the car's brakes. Such tasks get shoved aside. I mostly concentrate on feeding people and making sure the toilet bowls and floors are clean.

My shoulder has been tweaked out for a week. I hurt it on the job. But there is no workman's compensation here and I cannot be relegated to desk duties. Every task in this job is somehow physical.

New kind of paycheck

The pay, by the way, stinks. I'm working more and harder than I ever have in my life and getting paid nothing for it. Literally.

Well, unless you count the smiles, the coos, the squeals, the bath-time splashing, the bed-time stories, the cuddling, the sense of satisfaction that a job is being done well, the peace in knowing I won't have to regret missing first rollovers, first steps, first words, first teeth poking through. (I see the part-timer get frustrated about missing such things.)

And then there is the bonus of getting to wear sweats or pajamas each day. No dressing up is required for this job. I am not judged on how presentable I am. I don't even have to speak in full sentences. The boss seems to prefer grunts, giggles and goos.

Despite the working conditions and hours, some days on this job I can't stop smiling. I get to look at the most adorable face I have ever seen for hours at a time and I get to kiss it all over without protest. Tickling has never been so fun, and the game peek-a-boo is fascinating if you just have the right players.

As a stay-at-home mom I recently met at Esther Short Park told me, "My bad days at home are worse than my worst day at work ever was, but my good days at home are far better than my best day at the office ever could have been." I have decided this is the stay-at-home parent's battle cry. And hats off to nannies and day-care providers: When they are soaked in spit-up, it isn't even their kid doing the regurgitation.

My hard days as a stay-at-home parent are vastly outnumbered by the great days. Even though 5-month-old Luke and I are drenched in drool, we have hours to play and laugh and roll around on the floor. We go swimming and walking. We make cookies, sing silly songs and talk about when he will be bigger.

Still, the hard days do come, and when they do, I always get to thinking about single parents and teen moms. They need a new contract more than anyone. If I find this baby-raising gig challenging as a 33-year-old married woman, how do they do it?

I am convinced I need to know more of them so I can offer to help. And I feel compelled to use this column to remind every person who knows a single parent to lend a hand; to offer to baby-sit once a week so he or she can get errands done, exercise, see a movie, nap, read or just have a few hours to be absolutely free of responsibility.

That would create better working conditions and ensure more productive workers on those hard days.

Elizabeth Hovde's column of personal opinion appears on the Other Opinions page each Thursday. Reach her at ehovde@earthlink.net.