from Ben's mom
In church last Sunday we sang "They will know that you are Christians by your love." My mind wandered as I sadly realized that for the most part my time as an employee of various Christian employers and institutions (three Christian colleges, one Christian ministry, and four business owners who were Christians) has turned up a lot of people who would have a tough time getting convicted as Christians if this is the criteria. Note: They weren't all bad.
I'm not alone in this experience. Others have shared similar experiences and lamented that their Christian bosses would push them to give up family time, take lower wages, and work longer hours because they were Christians. If it is a "Christian institution" there is even more pressure--uh, I mean, encouragement to see it as your "ministry" and kill yourself for Jesus.
Then there are the questionable practices. One boss told me to call up a student who had told me she felt the Lord was leading her to attend another college and ask her how she knew it was God. (He also told a student leaving his college that she would never finish college or amount to anything if she went through with her decision.) Another would fire someone who had stumbled across an inethical decision in his department and thus had to go. Spiritual indeed. Then there were the witchhunts to route out those whose doctrine was not in line with the powers that be. The derogatory comments about those who felt differently politically, or who attended another church, or who weren't willing to work 60 hours a week. And the boss who asked for prayer when the IRS found out he was cheating on his taxes. He even convinced his pastor to go and testify to his "Christian character." (He was cheating on his taxes; I witnessed a lot of cheating and the IRS still fined him $10 grand. RIGHTLY SO.) And the bosses who wanted my help getting "the goods" on people they didn't like in their department so they could fire them. All very loving. All so Christlike.
In all fairness, there are others, mainly coworkers, who have prayed with me, stood with the innocent, and left the room when someone's reputation was being barraged. They are the gems who provided examples and care when I needed to see some light.
I am not without fault. I have taken the poison offered at times and said unkind things about others. (And definitely thought them.) More often, I have not stood up for the innocent whose reputations were being attacked. And yes, you are right. I have quite a bit of trouble "loving" these Christian bosses. At times I "try" to be spiritual by feeling sympathy for the questioning they'll go through on judgment day. My better response is to beg that Christ will give me a forgiving heart and that He'll do for me what I cannot do for myself. Love, forgive.
Someday I hope that I can sing this song or read the verse (John 13:35) and not taste a bitter pill. For now I can only wonder that Jesus' instructions are largely ignored and pray for mercy for the Church to act in love toward all.
6 comments:
I was just talking to my brother about this today. In my last job for a Christian organization, they "forgot" to pay me one month. They asked me to not worry about it, and then threatened to fire me when I wrote a letter to the head of the organization so I could try to get paid. Apparently I was causing too much trouble by trying to get a paycheck. Then, once I quit, in order to get my last paycheck, they made me sign a "I will not sue" contract. I wouldn't have sued anyway, even though it was within my rights.
All that to say, sometimes working for "Christians" is really hard. I'm glad you wrote this post because it reminds how grateful I am to be working where I am now, and that these things happen to everyone. I hope I can learn to trust again.
I believe it was Gandhi who said, "Christianity is a wonderful religion, but it's never been tried." Which is far too cynical, but it's true that far too often, Jesus' words have been ignored by His followers.
Of course, there are also the counter-examples (often referred to as "saints," whether officially canonized or not) that show God's love so clearly that others are drawn to the Kingdom by their witness.
You threw me off by your first line - I thought this was going to be a "music rant" post :)
--DJ
Another difficulty we ran into was having a Christian landlord. Even though we discussed the terms of our rental agreement (we were renting a basement apartment) and how utilities would be divided, he would suddenly come up with a new scheme for paying utilities (always so that we would have to pay more for electricity that was doubtful we even used) and tell us that is how it would be going forward. We started off paying 1/4 of the bills, then agreed we would pay 1/3, then he "forced" us into paying 2/3 of his utility bills. We basically agreed that we would pay it for a month if he would let us out of our obligation to stay there. He had never been in this townhouse during the winter months, and when his utility bills shot up during the winter months, he took it out on us. When we resisted, citing the contract and our previous agreements, he would always fire back and say that we really need to think about it more and pray and have a Christian attitude about the utility bill and then come back to talk to him once we have seen the light (and agreed with him, of course). My wife and I found it very frustrating to have our common faith used as a tool against us. When we left, he never contacted us about our security deposit, but when I contacted him, he told me he would send it, but that it would include deductions for bills that came in that he never bothered to tell us about. Probably, because he wanted to sneak off with the whole deposit and didn't want to remind us about it by emailing me about the bills when they came in. I would never have a Christian landlord again, because at least when you're dealing with non-Christians, everything is written down in the contract and they can't play a "spiritual" card on you.
While on the topic of Christians not acting Christ-like... I was talking to a coworker the other day and she said how much she disliked it when Christians owned pets. Her reason? Because they treat them worse than non-Christians. I didn't believer her, but she pointed out several instances where "Christians" got a dog and then left the animal chained up outside without any love and attention. She said ignoring a dog is as bad as beating it -- dogs live to be loved by their master. Interesting thought... Here we are to show love to others as Christ did, we are to care for creation as God directed and yet... many times we don't.
This is another reason why I want to wait to get a pet. I think it deserves some attention, something I don't have time for right now.
It is very sad to see how a Christian environment can take advantage of others all too easily. With confronting this wrong behavior, one thing that SHOULD be helpful, is that Christian’s (should) have the same basic standards as far as general/work ethics, both being called to love, etc. It reminds me of your previous comment about what does one do when they see their Christian friends claiming to be a Christian, and are not acting like it. I think we’re called to confront appropriately, but this is so hard to do – not to mention when it’s your boss. I feel like there’s more liberty, though, to confront someone who claims to be a Christian b/c you’re supposed to be on the same page. Sure, you may then find out THAT was completely wrong, but at least there’s a start. On the other hand, I struggle with how to react in situations where a boss is not a Christian. There’s literally no common ground. When s/he doesn’t have a problem with lying and wonders what would posses anyone to care (especially when it’s “really ok, and it works out in your best interest”). I feel like there’s no options whatsoever. Nothing to grasp at. All one can do is hold their ground, but definitely not act superior or unloving (Cor. 13 love), as can be done. I kind of got off your point, as you were hitting on the Christian work place – and now find myself back to your same dilemma, and wondering why this is. I’ve heard a couple of sermons where pastors have said that when we truly feel the forgiveness and love that has been given to us (by God), we will then have a radically different view of others, and will jump to show them the same kind of forgiveness and love.
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I guess I didn't really finish my thoughts with that last bit. I just wonder how little we feel God's forgiveness and love towards us, and that's the reason we do not show it to others.
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