from Ben's mom
When I married my husband, he had no money, but he did have something very valuable: a Great Books collection. I did not know this until after I had signed on the dotted line. That is important should anyone ever accuse me of marrying for books.
Sometime during my college years I started to think that no matter how many books I read, there were always more books I should have read. Particularly if I wanted to be an educated person. I would be in a lecture and my professor would refer to the parallels between this poem and Homer's The Iliad and I would think: I would probably "get" this poem if I had read The Iliad. But alas, it was The Aeneid that made the required list for my general education courses. And so on.
At some point, I found an advertisement for a beautifully bound Great Books collection and tore it out of a magazine, determined to find each and every book listed in a used book store. Later, as a college admissions counselor I found an online Great Books list that made my head swim. It came in handy though when counseling parents who thought there was absolutely nothing left to challenge their super-intelligent homeschooled 13-year old child before sending him off to college. "What has your son read?" "Oh, Johnnie has read everything. He has read The Bible 42 times now and memorized the book of Proverbs and has also read The Federalist Papers, Blackstone, biographies of all the Presidents before Bill Clinton, and of course, I Kissed Dating Goodbye." By the time Johnnie's mom had completed describing his brilliance, I had responded to 17 emails and finished drafting my to-do list for the week. And then I would pull out "The Question." "Has Johnnie read through a Great Books collection?" (Long pause.) "Where would I find a list?" And then I would email it to the family. And not hear from them for quite some time.
Then I found out I was pregnant. And I realized that I had not read enough. If you know my son's father, you realize that the likelihood of having an intelligent child was well into the 90th %ile. Thus the flashing visions of my 13-year old saying to me one day: "Mom, haven't you ever read Plato's Republic?" Or of receiving his rejection letter from Harvard saying, "All your entrance examinations demonstrated ability; however, it seems that your grammar and secondary education sorely failed to challenge and prepare you for our level of education. Note: Did your mother never read Boswell?"
Staring at me everyday are two and a half shelves full of beautifully bound books by the geniuses of western civilization. And I am dutifully working through them in Augustinian fashion (date order). I have been on the plays of Euripides for three months now, but I'm half-way through. And I'll make good progress until the next John Grisham novel comes out.
P.S. I have now read The Iliad. That's progress, right?
13 comments:
Thanks for the link! I totally agree that there are too many good books to read out there and that I have read far too little. Lately I've been feeling especially guilty about this. Sigh ...
Rats, I started out of order. (We got a Great Books collection for a wedding gift.) And I haven't picked up The Republic in weeks. Now I'm inspired to get back into it. (Then maybe I'll go back and do the Iliad and Odyssey. From the retellings I have read, should be a rip-snorting good tale.)
Well, sadly our young person began reading these "great books" when they went away to college (I didn't know such a list existed when they were still a home schooled teenager) and now - I am afraid that our child is more of an "educated and enlightened" 'humanist' than a godly Christian. So parents beware ------- though there are great pieces of classic literature to open and stimulate the mind, there IS a danger (if not just weariness to the flesh) in reading too many books and "intellectualizing" everything. (Ref. Eccl 12:12)
One Mom
I have heard "One Mom's" reason given as why we shouldn't study classical literature. It has never affected me in that way. I always find myself really thankful to serve a God who is loving and not selfish, vengeful, and self-serving as the Greek and Roman gods were. In Shakespeare I find timeless truths about family relationships. Even some of the modern lit I had to read in my college classes, while portraying despicable lifestyles, made me really grateful to serve a loving God who shows us a way out of our sin and ignorance. My argument is that heart, mind, and body must be God's--and then there is nothing to fear from knowledge.
Well, the literature major in me is obligated to say "Wow! Go get um!" But I sense that you feel enslaved to books, especially the classics, as a part of being an educated person. Also, does the fact that you are mulling around in Euripides plays of your own free will mean that you are really bored? I'm just wondering if you want to be doing this or not, and if you are enjoying it.
I do enjoy it...but miss the discussion you get when you are reading something with a class. And it isn't simple stuff. It requires a lot of thought and time--of which mine is frequently interrupted. But I love having these books right there. I don't have to think about what to read next and can focus on what I'm reading instead.
You said, "My argument is that heart, mind, and body must be God's--and then there is nothing to fear from knowledge." I agree whole heartedly. But what do you do when you think your child's heart, mind and body are the Lord's and you find out later that that wasn't true (as evidenced by their "educated and enlightened" mind)? What if they are thrown about by every wind of "doctrine"? And decide, because of things they've read, or people they've talked to that have read things, that they no longer "buy into" what they were taught as a young child. What then? God says that knowledge puffs up. When this happens you run the danger I mentioned earlier. What then? I am serious in my questioning because I am very discouraged in what I see in my young person.
One Mom
I think One Mom's concerns are valid, and it's something to be careful of. When my husband and I were putting our books on the shelf and I questioned a few of the authors' presence, he said--"But don't we want them to be learning about those ideas here, with us?" When the whole realm of ideas, true and false, can be learned with the parents and brought under the authority of Christ, I think there is much less danger than when one suddenly encounters them in the heady air of early adulthood, away from all the constraints of family and church.
Well put--QoC. Thanks. And to add to it. A friend of mine's mom told me how she was fretting over her son who was not walking with God and trying to manipulate his influences etc...when she felt God say, "He's mine. You gave him to me. So quit interfering. I've got him." He's now 35 and has been walking with Jesus for nearly 15 years. Many of the things his mom would have wanted to keep him from are the very things God used to bring him to Himself. While it has to be the toughest thing in the world--it seems adult children are best prayed over and loved and let God do the rest. The hard part I'm sure would be watching your child take hard knocks in life and standing back and letting it happen.
Dear Ben's Mom,
How discerning you are. And you are just a young mother! ;-)
You were right when you said "it has to be the toughest thing in the world" to see our adult children (especially those who claim to be Christians) make choices that not only are unhealthy for them but in most cases contradict God's word. Perhaps praying over our children and loving them (with our lips closed) is the best thing; especially because their Creator - who knows them infinitley better than we parents do - knows exactly what is needed in their lives to "break" them in order to "make" them. It is most definitely a hard thing to watch our children take hard knocks in life and stand back and let it happen. But for those of us who have lied on the bottom of the pit ourselves, we know that sometimes this is what it takes.
It breaks my heart to see the changes in our child - especially after sending them to a well known Christian college headed up by a popular home schooler. We felt so safe in sending them "there" - yet what we have discovered is that colleges are pretty much the same when it comes to people and being human and trying to "safeguard" hearts. It just can't be done. What is in a child's heart when they leave home will largely shape who they "become" at college. If they are grounded in God's word, they are less likely to be tossed about by every wind of (denominational or humanistic) doctrine.
So. What do you do when you've tried to the best of your ability with what you knew to do, to instill the right values (and yes, that would include moral ones as well) in your young people, only to see them toss some of them aside because they have learned to not be "gullible" and believe everything that is taught to them? Is that not the heady air of early adulthood talking? And you know - QofC makes a good argument for not sending your young people away. Once they distance themselves from family and church, you have very little influence in their lives. And whoever has the heart of your child will control them.
Oh, the tears I've cried and the sleepless nights I've prayed. When will you hear the cry of my heart, oh Lord? ;-(
One Mom
I applaud you Rachelle. I read some Greek plays while in high school and found them interesting. I've never really gotten myself to read the Iliad or the Odyssey. And Samuel Pepys' diary was a complete bust - I didn't bother finishing that one. (Think Miller's story in Canterbury Tales), but I am a fan of Shakespeare... I just wish I had someone I could discuss it with now like I had during school.
I haven't even looked at the Great Books list, Rachelle. Those lists always remind me that I'm not really a serious reader; I just play at it. And that, furthermore, I'm perfectly happy doing so.
To One Mom: I had four siblings who shot off into the wild when they became teens. As adults, they've all "returned" to some extent or another.
I myself left home for an extended time when I turned twenty, and it was the real start of my personal spiritual walk. I made some decisions that my parents didn't agree with, but I learned to meet God on my own ground. It was invaluable.
And I'm not far away from those college-age years, when all those new ideas seem bright and shining, and the "old life" seems dull and even a little quaint. Give your child some time to sift through all the new ideas. With such a foundation as you have striven to build for him/her, you can trust that God will pick through the fluff and bring him/her back to solid ground. Remember how we all knew everything when we were twenty.
-- SJ
Thank you, SJ, for your encouragement. It's the waiting for them to return that is so hard. I guess that at my age (which is well over 20) I know what my offspring will miss during those "know it all years" and I don't want that for them. Yet, I know that God must grow them in His own way and time. Until then, I continue to do my part on my knees.
Glad you are able to have your differences with your parents. The scary thing in all of that is that one day, you may actually begin to think like your parents! I know I did :)
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